He was just sitting there trying to figure out how to use a calculator to solve 1+2, but he clearly had no idea how to make the calculator work. One night I saw him sitting in a port-a-potty with the door wide open, his skin aglow and his eyeballs bugging three inches out of their sockets. We took pity on him and shoved his corpse under some mulch next to the groundskeepers’ shed, but apparently he wasn’t buried deep enough, and his ghost escaped. It was the ghost of a local idiot who had recently died but couldn’t afford a burial. Lisa Erving – “What did you say this was for again?”ġ6. David Winters – “I’ve only seen one ghost, and it seemed pretty smart.”ġ5. Cliff Washington – “I’m always on the lookout for that kind of stuff, but I’ve never seen it.”ġ4. Arthur North – “You can’t be serious.”ġ3. Bradley Grant – “Never seen any kind of ghost.”ġ2. Grover Murphy – “I’ve never noticed anything like that.”ġ1. Right before I pulled the trigger, he whispered, “Thrank…youm” and sprayed some more urine from his erect penis.ġ0. Finally, I went over there and shot him with a shotgun. He cried, “Bawitdaba?” from inside the grave, then attempted to float out of it but kept flopping around in the air like a wounded bird and falling back down into the hole. He saw me looking at him and became frightened, so he started to run away but immediately fell into an open grave. He was singing the chorus of Kid Rock’s “Bawitdaba” but getting the words wrong, and his penis was sticking erect out of the fly of his bib overalls and squirting urine up in the air and all over his face. I peeked over the top of the hedgerow and I saw the glowing, translucent green ghost of a fat little idiot boy just gawking at me with the dumbest look on his face I have ever seen. I was clipping some hedges when I got this strange feeling like there was someone stupid watching me from the other side. Boris Grainger – “I remember it like it was yesterday. Kenny Landry – “I don’t think there are ghosts here.”ĩ. Peter Shandling – “I’m not sure I understand what you’re asking.”Ĩ. That question seems a little disrespectful.”ħ. Hector Gonzales – “I’m sorry, I don’t want to answer that. Juan Ramirez – “Huh? That has never happened to me.”Ħ. Otis Porter – “One time I saw a trash bag blowing around that kind of looked like a ghost, but that’s about it.”ĥ. Markus Rose – “I don’t really believe in that sort of thing.”Ĥ.
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